GROOVY

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

59th Street Bridge Song by Paul Simon

LET'S FIND THE GROOVE. Tap a foot to the beat. I'm playing around here with a mix of ideas: a musical groove and finding a state of pleasing consistency, a flow, sort of like a needle of a turntable on a vinyl disk, or ink rubbed into an etched incision of a metal plate.

Maybe you've been in the groove before. Here's one way to look at it: Maybe you had a spell where you weren't feeling great, disjointed, bewildered; but now you're getting "back in the groove."

Maybe you've been in a rut before, that ditch of a lifeless routine. I heard someone say that a rut is a "grave with both ends knocked out."

How do you know if you're in a rut or in the groove? If you're in the groove, you're feeling it. At a minimum you're tapping your foot to it (even metaphorically). Because apparently it's part physiological:

The urge to move in response to music, combined with the positive affect associated with the coupling of sensory and motor processes while engaging with music (referred to as sensorimotor coupling) in a seemingly effortless way, is commonly described as the feeling of being in the groove.

In a rut there is no sound, or if there is, it's a hum, a droning, without rhythm or melody and certainly no harmony.

I love jazz. Often people say they don't. I think it's because they can't find the groove. People like a good four-count rhythm with a hefty downbeat: ONE, two, three four. ONE, two, three, four. And repeat.

One of my favorite jazz tunes is Dave Brubeck's "Take Five". It makes a good example of how irritating jazz can feel. It has five beats to a measure. Finding the groove is tricky but so fun when you do. My advice is to pay attention to the rhythm section: the bass, the drums and piano. They will almost always give you the groove. But even if you miss it, it's way more fun than a rut.

As I move closer to retirement, I fear the rut; not the rhythm, but the rut. There's a difference. Here's an example: My Amazing-Missus and I have discovered a little diner where we live. On Monday nights they have half-price burgers. We say to heck with the diet and cardiologist's warnings. She has the old-fashioned w/o cheese and fried okra, I have the ultimate patty melt. So, for now, our Monday rhythm is burgers out, get home in time to watch "The Voice", then she goes off to another room to sew or watch to see if they're going to LOVE IT or LIST IT, I watch what's left of the Monday Night Football game to see which team will WIN IT and which will LOSE IT.

At some point, if at our little diner, we're just stuffing greasy beef and bread down our gullets without even tasting it or enjoying the danger, we've fallen into a rut. If we miss an opportunity to do something else because of the routine, we're in a rut.

I played drums in some fine bands. That included marching in a bunch of parades including one presidential inaugural parade (the one for the infamous Tricky Dick Nixon). During a parade, the drummers never rest. In between songs they play a cadence. It provides the groove allowing the members of the band to march in unison and unity. I can still play the cadences from those days. Those memories are still in my old muscles. We played those over and over and over again. We were in a rut? NOPE. We were in the groove. Heck, we were the groove.

It it's quiet where you are right now, pay attention to the beating of your heart. Concentrate on your breathing; in and out. That is your groove, your cadence. Groovy! Right?

When I was much younger I heard a guy, a guy I had a lot of respect for, say that "maturity is learning to play the hand you've been dealt." That sounded so right to me when he said it, and I accepted it for fact. Now, it sounds like selling-out, or at least, settling; to me.

The thing about being in the groove is that it moves us forward. It's consistent but dynamic. Along with the groove there is a melody and harmonies. AND, there is the chance to ad-lib. You can riff. You can change keys or tempos, but the groove is always there.

I was visiting about these ideas with my oldest son/drummer/art professor. "It's like Intaglio printing," he said.

In Intaglio printing, ink is rubbed into grooves created by etching a design in a plate made of copper, zinc or other materials. Under pressure the paper is embossed into the grooves picking up the ink and producing a range of printed effects.

This picture of grooves being cut and inked; impressions created under pressure to produce a final product which can be replicated over and over, is rich in application to living in the groove.

There is a verse to the Paul Simon song "The Boxer" which didn't make the radio version of the song. It goes like this:

Now the years are rolling by me
They are rockin' evenly
I am older than I once was
And younger than I'll be; that's not unusual
Nor is it strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are more or less the same

As I'm writing this I'm listening to "Portrait In Jazz" by the Bill Evans Trio. If this blog post doesn't make any sense, play the 6th cut called "Peri's Scope" and see if you don't find yourself in the groove and just a little bit happier.

Here's to a rut-less and groovy day.

EXAMPLE SETTING

I DON’T REMEMBER the first time I was told, “you’re setting the example for others,” but I do still feel the weight of that admonition.

Recently, I had the privilege of speaking at the memorial service of a good friend, a man I hold in high regard. We’ll call him Dave. Also speaking at the memorial was Dave’s son, let’s call him Kent. Kent told this story about his dad:

One evening at meal time Mom (let’s call her Barbara) called Dave to the table and passed a bowl of mixed vegtables. “What is this!?” Dave asked and added, “I’m not eating this!” Barbara surprised said, “Why not, you’ve eaten this dish for 30 years?!” Dave replied, “The kids are grown and gone and I’m tired of setting the example.”

Example Setting is serious business. As I said, it’s weighty and fraught with danger. What if I hold myself up as an example and then prove unworthy? I mean, look at me (but don’t follow me), I watch too much TV. I need to exercise more. I don’t floss as often as I should. My attitude and outlook often is not what you want someone to strive toward. According to many I’m unpatriotic, although I disagree and therefore I am belligerent. You get the picture.

Thankfully, God provides grace and filters that somehow let our kids see a better version of ourselves than may be real. For example, look at me and then look at our two sons: they are good husbands and great fathers, they are honest, hard-working, humble and good example-setters.

I know what you’re thinking! And, you’re right! Look at their mother!

I’m trying to be a good example for our grandkids, but I’m still going to pick the mushrooms off my pizza and watch as much Sponge Bob as they want to watch.

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

— Mark Twain