GOOD AND A GOOD STORY
/"Let's watch 'Garfield'."
"No, 'Sonic'!"
"I want 'Lyle, Lyle Crocodile'."
"We watched that last time."
We had three of the Grands spending the night with us. We had just finished the buffet that Mimi fixes because there is no concensus among: quesadillas, scrambled eggs, corn dogs, sloppy joes, and spaghetti. The last word of one of the parents after delivering 2/7 of our bundle of joy: "They've probably had enough sugar already today."
So after lemonade and ice cream sandwiches, it's movie time.
Cutting off a filibuster by the five-year-old, I offer the solution. "Let's watch 'Karate Kid'." The aforementioned 5YO tells us he knows karate and starts his demonstration on his brother, his cousin and his Pops.
"Is this a good choice?" My Amazing Missus asks, but means, "This is not a good choice."
"Is it appropriate for kids 5, 8, and 10?" she asks.
I explain that it is rated PG-13, which in my interpretation stands for "Pops' Guidance" and I can give 13 reasons why this will be fine, and besides they're going home tomorrow and their parents can debrief them.
It proved to be an excellent discussion starter--not about the key issues of things like: intergenerational friendships, balance, focus, looking deep enough to see the morsels of beauty in life, being able to catch a fly with chopsticks, but still...
The questions were more like: why is his mom making him move from his home? Where is his dad? What is a bully? Isn't that a bad word? Then why does he keep saying it? Can we switch back to "Lyle, Lyle Crocodile?" Can I have another ice cream sandwich? Why is Mr. Miyagi making him do all that work?
"Just wait and you'll see!" I tell them, giddy for the moment that Mr. Miyagi reveals his subterfuge and demonstrates that by building muscle memory with stuff like wax-on; wax-off, sand-the-floor and paint-the-fence, he has in fact taught him karate. I look at them carefully in that moment to watch their eyes when the eureka lightbulb comes on for them. NOTHING. No "aha". The connection fails. Maybe later at the finals of the "18 and Under All-Valley Tournament."
We all cheer for and celebrate Daniel's win; for various reasons.
As Mr. Miyagi beams with pride for his young student, as the dark husks of Cobra Kai slink back to their dojo. As Daniel San hoists the trophy and finds balance with Ally, his tormentors and himself, I wipe a tear from my eye. The Grands don't notice. They're too busy practicing the "Crane Technique" on one another.
Reflecting on this movie that I've seen too many times, I can't help but draw comparisons between the “No Mercy, Sir” essence of the Cobra Kai dojo and the meaner side of The Whitehouse. I can't cleanse from my psyche the image of J.D. Vance in a karate costume with that smirky grin, along with Musk and his chainsaw, yelling "Sweep the leg Donnie!" in a trumped-up fight with PBS, NPR, The Kennedy Center, public education, higher education, The National Endowment for the Arts, The National Endowment for the Humanities, and all things that can enrich and inspire, which we've apparently taken for granted. This fight, it seems to me, isn’t so much between left and right, or good and evil. It’s about illumination vs. darkness.
The youngest of our group won the battle for the next feature of movie night: Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile. Turns out there are lessons to be learned here too. Consider Mr. Grumps who hides his manipulative ways behind the persona of being a good neighbor. It's a cautionary tale to be wary of those whose ruse is "keeping things right" or making something nebulous great again. Watch out Mr. Grumps, we see you for who you are. Even your cat has turned against you.
I have a friend, Alissa Wilkinson, who is a movie critic at The New York Times. She has a new book out called, We Tell Ourselves Stories: Joan Didion and the American Dream Machine.
In an interview with Sojourner magazine about her book featuring the writer Joan Didion, Alissa is asked:
You write, “We seek meaning and order in the world by creating story arcs that tell us why things happen and how they will sort themselves out.” What is one of the prevailing stories you continue to tell yourself today?
So here’s the thing: You don’t know that you’re telling yourself that story. That’s kind of the point that she (Didion) makes throughout her work, starting from when she is writing The White Album where she writes the line, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” But she was saying this much earlier than that, just not crystallized yet.
Everyone tells themselves stories, whether it’s stories like “this person deserves to experience this political repercussion because they are bad in this particular way,” or simple ones that the movies are always telling us like “good things happen to good people” and “follow your heart” and “don’t let anyone tell you who you are, be yourself.” Those are stories that we make up. They’re longer in story form, but those stories tell us how to live.
I think for Didion, the thing that you had to do if you were a person of any moral seriousness was to try to see the story and continually try to figure out where it came from and whether it is the right story or whether it needs modification.
I love stories and seeing the stories we live. But, I realize we have to be careful. To Alissa's point, if we hear a story, for example, about a young leader in Ukraine being an aggressor, subjecting his country to death and destruction, we are hearing a false narrative. It's told for truth and it's told again and again and again until it sounds plausible. We need "to see the story and continually try to figure out where it came from and whether it is the right story or whether it needs modification."
Objectivity is not a strength for me. For some reason I cannot see black and white exclusively and distinctly. Like the days of TV when I grew up, when our TVs were called black and white but in reality they were shades of gray. Now I still see those shades; and colors too. I hope that each story will end with: "and they lived happily ever after." But I'm older now and more calloused, and jaded, and starting to think not all stories end as I had hoped. But, still...
BONSAI DANIEL SAN. BONSAI!
Why does Mr. Miyagi yell Bonsai to Daniel?
Mr. Miyagi yells “bonsai” to express his enthusiasm and appreciation for tasks done exceptionally well. The phrase implies that the task has been completed with precision and care, much like a bonsai tree is sculpted into perfection over time. He also uses the phrase as a motivator, encouraging those around him to strive for excellence in their craft. Beyond this, he likely uses it as an expression of pride at having passed down his wisdom and skills to others who can now use them to find success. --bonsaitreehelp.org.