The Kings & I

THE KINGS ARE DEAD AND I DON'T FEEL TOO HOT MYSELF. (Thank you Lewis Grizzard).

Now, I don't claim to be Royalty--although "Sir Pops" has a nice royal/commoner ring to it. If only I could get word to the Queen.

I don't claim to be Royalty--although I really, really like that hot little pop song by Lorde called "Royals". Here are the lyrics to the catchy chorus. The song sort of hints that we can self-define royalty. So maybe I can be a Royal.

And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

You can check out the music video of Royals here.

Even with that, I still don't claim to be Royalty, however I do have a lot in common with two guys that are arguably among the most well known and loved Kings: King David and Elvis.

Notice they both have great hair and that cool little lip curl deal. I don't.

Quickly, let me say to my more fundamentalist friends: no, I am not comparing myself to a beloved Biblical stalwart. It may seem like that, but I'm not. Really. By the way, did you know that the name "David" means beloved? Just saying.

Starting with age before beauty, let's look at King David. Although I am known by two of the most important people in the world as "Pops", to many others I'm known by my given name: David. So he and I have that in common.

I think I may also share his propensity for being very well-intentioned but occasionally weak and narcissistic. Well--at least I'm that way. For example, I don't know for sure what I would have done if I had been king and noticed a babe like Bathsheba bathing on the roof of the house next door. But I'm not going to sit here like some kind of pompous, royal arse and pretend like I'm stronger than him.

We probably could all guess what Elvis would have done in a similar situation. He would have put a little extra Brylcream (because a little dab'l do ya) on the pompadour, grabbed his guitar and lured her over with some hip action and a siren song.

Detour: Speaking of the patented Elvis hip action. I'm confident if the boy had lived into his senior years, he most certainly would have been looking at at least one hip replacement.

So, how about Elvis? What similarity could I possibly claim to this renowned king? January 8. That's right. Elvis and I share a birthday.

Back in my first coming of age, I was not a fan of Elvis and his music--at all. Oh, I appreciated his breaking of rock and roll ground. But my tastes were more to acts like The Beatles, The Kinks, The Yardbirds, The Animals, The Rolling Stones, etc.

Unfortunately, back in the day when I listened to pop/rock radio, I had to spend every birthday listening to Elvis music, because it was his birthday too, and after all; he was The King.

Now, in my second-coming of age, I enjoy hearing a good Elvis standard or two. I now realize how important he was to the shift in musical culture. As was King David. That's right. David was a musician himself. And hey, so am I!

We know for sure David played the harp. He played for that nutty King Saul and chased his haunting spirits away. David also apparently organized the very first band--don't believe me?--It's in the Bible. (1 Chronicles 25) I wonder if they practiced in the garage of the royal chariot.

Sadly, we can't draw many lessons about living our second-coming of age from Elvis. He died 1n 1977 at the age of 42. I have learned this though:

"Wise men say, only fools rush in..."

King David, on the other hand, lived to be around 70ish. I did a bit of biblical research to see how he did in his old age and came up with this: 

When King David was old and well advanced in years, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him.  So his servants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to attend the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.” 1 Kings 1:1-2

Wow. There's a concept for a "senior living center". I can see the TV ad now... and in the background Elvis is singing: "Are you lonesome tonight."

Here's my birthday conclusion: no matter how royal we may think we are, sometimes we ain't nothin' but hounddogs.

Happy Birthday Elvis--wherever you are.