FOR TODAY

TODAY IT SEEMS ESPECIALLY CRUEL. I’m not much of a socializer. It’s not that I’m shy or too sophisticated for small talk, or uninterested in the lives of others—well maybe a little. Let’s just say that when it comes to the social distancing part of quarantine, I’m okay. Except! When it comes to our kids and GrandKids; and Mom, especially today.

On May 12, we sang Happy Birthday to Malachi on a Zoom call. It broke my heart. I’m grateful for Zoom and FaceTime and for kids who are doing what they can to help us stay in “touch” with the GKs. But this is hard. Sunday, was Karlee’s piano recital. I’ve never missed one; until now. Oh, we watched on YouTube and it was wonderful, but different.

Today though it seems especially cruel. Today would have been Mom and Dad’s 74th wedding anniversary. This will be her first one without him. It will be her first one without anyone from her family being physically there with her. She is in assisted-living with strict lockdown. It is as it should be for now, but hard nonetheless.

I’ve thought about how it might be different for her if Dad were still here. Their life was pretty well suited to a quarantine type existence. They started each morning the same. Dad would be up first, his coffee made, waiting for her to start their daily readings. His eyes failed him years ago so reading was impossible, but he had mom. They would start with their daily devotional book and move on to the daily newspaper, page A1 headlines first and then the sports page (a routine she follows to this day, although the sports page is not what it once was). They would have been fine as long as Gunsmoke, M*A*S*H, and Jeopardy were on. The turmoil of quarantine would have hit once the scheduled St. Louis Cardinals’ game didn’t begin.

For a lot of 90-somethings you could have played any old Cardinals game from the past. They wouldn’t have known that Ozzie retired years ago. But Dad did. Mom served as a sort of play-by-play announcer for him. She knew all the players. She probably wouldn’t pronounce their names correctly but she knew them. Dad could see enough that he could tell the Cardinals players apart. I don’t know if he recognized their silouette, their batter’s box routine, their pitching motion?

But the Cardinal’s aren’t playing for now. Mom has a wonderful team of care-givers where she lives. For now, for today that will be enough for her. She is resilient. She has her books, her eyesight and GrandKids who love her. As she says, quoting her own mother, “This too shall pass.”

But for today; it seems especially cruel.

TODAY IS SATURDAY

THE DAY IN BETWEEN. This is what we do on the in-between days, between the beginning and the end, between the start and finish, in the uncertainty between what we know from experience and what we hope will be. One time; in-between was 40 years in the wilderness between bondage as slaves and the Promised Land. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could send 12 spies down the road of the coronavirus to bring a report back; what’s it like on the other side? Of course, there are tons of speculators now, people who think they can see there, from deniers to doomsdayers. I’m firmly in-between.

Today is Saturday. It’s a day of complete uncertainty, probably some chaos, some despair, short tempers, panicked discussions. That may be somewhat true of this Saturday, April 11, 2020, too. But I’m talking about that Saturday, centuries ago, the actual day between the crucifixation and the resurrection. Sure, now that we know how things turned out we can take a pretty relaxed view of the Saturday in-between. But on that first one—who knew? Now that we know, we can spend today (with a few twists and some ad-libbing) doing normal Easter weekend stuff: dying Easter eggs, making sure we have some stuff to fill Easter baskets…

Many many years ago I was a huge Miami Dolphins football fan. One of the times they would be playing in the Super Bowl, I prepared the VCR to record the game. We were having a Super Bowl party at our house after church activities. Early in the game, the Dolphins were struggling, mightily. I panicked; not that I had a big bet at stake, but my certainty that the Dolphins would prevail was on the line. I snuck back to the bedroom and tuned in to a radio broadcast of the game. They lost! I mourned quietly and returned to the living room with the arrogance of certain knowledge. I KNOW HOW THIS ONE TURNS OUT! I’m not in-between anymore. I know how it started. I know how it ends.

Remember two of those 12 spies came back and reported that moving in to the promised land was achievable and worth it all. The ten naysayers prevailed and the in-between lasted four decades. If you have heard yourself saying over the past few weeks, “For now…” then you are in-between. That’s where we are; not for the next 40 years, but for now.

So, for now… Here are words from Jane Kenyon.

OTHERWISE
Jane Kenyon - 1947-1995

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

---

GOOD TIME TO CARPE DIEM

OR, THOUGHTS ON QUARANTINE

Mr. Miyagi: Go, find balance.
Daniel: [starts to drive away]
Mr. Miyagi: Banzai, Daniel-san.
Daniel: Hey, banzai!
Mr. Miyagi: [louder] Banzai!
Daniel: [louder] Banzai!
Mr. Miyagi: [shouts] Banzai!
Daniel: [shouts back] Banzai!

ban·zai /ˈbanzī/
exclamation: banzai
1. a Japanese battle cry.

That’s the way I picture the beginning of my days in Big Q—going to find balance! Banzai!

What is this supposed to be about? Ideally, I wanted to contribute something on the subject of making the most of the time if you’re stuck at home (as we should be) as a “non-essential”. (That sounds unduly harsh.)

I thought of looking to the scriptures, but so many have that covered already.

I thought of looking to others to see how they are doing the Carpe Diem. Apparently most everyone is watching something called “Tiger King”.

I thought of looking to Shakespeare who survived the plague, but I was afraid of losing both of my readers. There is this to ponder though:

“Tis the times' plague, when madmen lead the blind.” ― William Shakespeare, King Lear

So, as I often like to do, I turned to pop culture, more specifically the movies. I asked a few “friends” for recommendations of good “seize the day” movies. Here are samples from a few of their suggestions:

From Goonies:

Mikey: We had our hands on the future, but we blew it to save our own lives.... Sorry.

Mikey: Goonies never say die!

Mikey: Don’t you realize? The next time you see the sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them. Because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. That’s all over the second we ride up “Troy’s bucket”.

From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

Ferris Bueller: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller: The question isn't 'what are we going to do', the question is 'what aren't we going to do?'

And from Dead Poet’s Society, the movie that spawned the idea for this essay:

John Keating: They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

[the scene is here on YouTube if you want to have a look]

There are so many people making a difference. As silly as it sounds, staying home can be a significant contribution too. I’ll admit thought, I’m in awe of those on the front line of this: the medical heros, those who are delivering goods to stores and our stuff to us, those who are stocking shelves, and all those who keeping us up and running. Their mission is clear and daunting and fraught. I hope they remain safe, healthy, fulfilled and rewarded.

If you’ve been to visit for Facebook for 45 seconds or more you’ve likely seen this:

If you don’t come out of this quarantine with:
-A new skill
-Your side hustle started
-More knowledge
You never lacked time, you lacked discipline.
[strike that]
You are doing just fine.
We are going through a collective traumatic experience Not everyone has the privilege of turning a pandemic into something fun or productive. Stay healthy.

I should consider myself schooled by this but I’m a bit confused. I think the lesson in that is: at the end of the day or the Big Q, if all you’ve accomplished is watching Tiger King: it’s okay. But, then I excel in missing the point.

Discipline or not, available time or not, we can still learn something new, right? I do understand lack of discipline, focus and commitment. I have a dear friend who makes amazing sourdough bread. She has encouraged to “make a starter” and that apparently leads to something in a jar that you have to “feed”. I watched a YouTube video. Nope! Sorry I don’t have what it takes. And I’m not just talking about King Arthur flour and a jar.

Carpe-ing the Diem is an individual matter—I think. I have a great friend, named Doug. We talk on the phone every few days. He told me he is spending his time “practicing the art of procrastination.” He also told me of a friend of his that would choose a life theme for a period of time. Once his theme was, “I don’t gave a darn.” The next year his theme was, “I’m going to give a darn, I’m just not going to do anything about it.”

My theme, my motivation, the intensity of my carpe depends on the diem, or the minute. One last movie quote that pretty much sums up my approach to it all:

Kid on the school bus: What are you going to do today Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do, GOSH!