I MADE IT
/ALTHOUGH SOME WARNED I MIGHT NOT. I’ve made it through 69 years. That’s the way it works you know. You don’t get to have a First birthday party until you’ve lived a year. Then you start on year two. So, now I’ve embarked on year 70. I was thinking that sounded incredibly old, but my mother who is 90-something just called to say, “Happy Birthday” and asked me if this was 87 or 88 for me. Good grief mom, what were your early teens like?
I can remember voices from my past like that of my high school geometry teacher telling me I would regret not taking his geometry class more seriously. He was wrong. One thing I did take seriously in school was learning to diagram sentences. I do regret that. I’ve never even once been asked as an adult to diagram a sentence. What a waste. Not really. I’ve always enjoyed words, sentences and drawing lines.
There are some regrets obviously, but none are too crippling. Some I wish I could fix, but I know from Marty McFly how dangerous time travel can be. My bro-in-law and one of my very best friends talks about making amends. I don’t really know how to do that effectively. But it is my desire to.
I heard a man who was in the final hours of a terminal disease say, “I wish I could live my life over again, not because I haven’t enjoyed it but because I have enjoyed it so much.”
Do morbidness and the golden years go hand in hand?
Well even though my physical form has made it through 69 relatively unscathed, I’m still as immature mentally, socially and spiritually as I was in my prime. So life goes on with plenty to aspire to.
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going, and hook up with them later. ”
Someone told me, “Don’t give unsolicited advice. People hate it when old people give unsolicited advice!”
I didn’t ask them for that advice so I’m not going to take it. It doesn’t matter to me whether anyone takes my advice or not. Sometimes I feel like they’re not even listening.
For example, in every episode of Dateline, 20/20, 48-hours and all the rest I yell at those idiots on TV, “if you’re going to kill your wife don’t go to Wal Mart or Home Depot and buy a shovel, a blue tarp, a roll of duct tape and clorox with your credit card.” But still they do it…every single time.
I don’t know how many times I’ve given Billy Donovan coaching advice though the TV; it’s like he can’t even hear me.
Even my Grand-Kids—I offer wisdom and guidance and they give me this little, cute eye-roll, and an, “O Pops.”
Well by golly I’ve reached the point where I can give all the advice I want and the right to ignore any and all advice from others, especially doctors and religious leaders. Just kidding Mom. I’m only 69, and I’m just kidding.
Here’s some advice for you: laugh hard everyday, don’t trust politicians and wear sunscreen.
I’ve been to plenty of kids’ birthday parties over the past few years. These days they have “themes” or destinations like beautiful indoor swimming pools for November swim parties or places like that one with the big mouse, games and bad pizza. I’ve been to rainbow parties, unicorn parties, Minnie Mouse parties. These are so common, one of the grand-girls was a bit indignant when I told her I wasn’t having a party much less a theme.
So that set me to thinking… If I did have a party and a theme what would it be? I decided on this:
