U OK HUN?

I DON’T KNOW THAT I HAD MUCH INTEREST in the United Kingdom until The Beatles rocked the music world and transcended pop culture by making culture. That of course was the 60s. In the summer of ’70, I got to visit England. My main three take-aways, best I remember: 1. it seemed so old, 2. why can’t you get ice in a glass of water, and 3. why do they call cookies biscuits?

Of late, I’ve had a renewed interest in the the UK. It may have started with Downton Abbey, but has gained momentum at about three miles an hour, watching YouTube videos about narrowboats slowing chugging along on the canals, really old canals, that meander across the island. One in particular, is a vlog called “Cruising the Cut”. I wrote about it a while back.

Apparently some YouTube algorithm—not to sound too paranoid—has decided I would like to, or should like to, know more about the ways of the Brits via video blogs, adding them to my “if you liked this, you might like this” list. Watching the videos has spawned a fascination with the ways and words of the Crown’s Subjects (or are they Citizens of the Commonwealth?) It’s confusing.

from the internet. not likely an actual Churchill quote.

from the internet. not likely an actual Churchill quote.

One such phrase I learned just the other day: “U ok hun?” Apparently this is used when someone is being overly dramatic or seemingly stressed to the brink, particularly as expressed in their social media posts. It shows a bit of concern but with an unspoken hint of “maybe you’re overdoing it.” The fact that it’s made its way to t-shirts and coffee mugs (or tea cups for my British friends) signals it is woven into urban-speak.

It’s sort of like our: “Bless your heart.” Sort of sardonic sympathy, but not always. Sometimes it is full-on, beautiful empathy.

Isn’t it weird how almost everything can be divisive now?

I wasn’t there, but apparently back in the first century the issue of whether to eat meat that had been offered to idols was a hot topic. People were lining up, taking sides and throwing metaphorical stones. Paul the Apostle mentioned in a letter that sometimes knowledge can puff us up; even if that knowledge is based in truth and facts; or not. And when we’re all puffed up with superiority, knowledge becomes dogma and we become jerks. (That part wasn’t in Paul’s take on the matter. I added it on.) [I’ve included a portion of his letter below.]

What if we could sincerely embrace an attitude that regardless of how we vote, whether we’re mask/no mask, whether our favorite ammendment is the first or the second, we could say to each other with true compassion in these crazy times: “U ok hun?” And, no matter the answer, our response would be a sincere: “Bless your heart.”

And, if you’re thinking, “Bless his liberal, naive heart,” I feel that sarcasm. I’m empathetic like that. (Or would that be telepathic?)


Paul’s first letter to a group in Corinth (chapter 8, The Message)

The question keeps coming up regarding meat that has been offered up to an idol: Should you attend meals where such meat is served, or not? We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions—but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all.

Some people say, quite rightly, that idols have no actual existence, that there’s nothing to them, that there is no God other than our one God, that no matter how many of these so-called gods are named and worshiped they still don’t add up to anything but a tall story. They say—again, quite rightly—that there is only one God the Father, that everything comes from him, and that he wants us to live for him. Also, they say that there is only one Master—Jesus the Messiah—and that everything is for his sake, including us. Yes. It’s true.

In strict logic, then, nothing happened to the meat when it was offered up to an idol. It’s just like any other meat. I know that, and you know that. But knowing isn’t everything. If it becomes everything, some people end up as know-it-alls who treat others as know-nothings. Real knowledge isn’t that insensitive. We need to be sensitive to the fact that we’re not all at the same level of understanding in this. Some of you have spent your entire lives eating “idol meat,” and are sure that there’s something bad in the meat that then becomes something bad inside of you. An imagination and conscience shaped under those conditions isn’t going to change overnight.

HANDS, LIPS & THE DEVIL

MY MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER was a fount of wisdom and warnings: Play with fire and you’ll wet the bed. Hike in the woods and you’ll get a chigger on your wigger. And, one I heard often: Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Each of her warnings was uttered with the authority of divine edict, or certainly, scriptural backing.

I’ve done a bit of Bible reading over my life and can’t remember a reference to bed-wetting, chiggers or wiggers (unless you count all that circumcision stuff). The line about idle hands didn’t appear in any version of the Bible until 1971, The Living Bible version, published that year, intrepreted Proverbs 16:27 as, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece.” My grandmother was proclaiming this truth long before 1971.

I bring this up for a couple of reasons. #1) On that loose lips part, you should read what I wrote and was going to post before I chose to write this! #2) Apparently that idle-hands thing took root. I try to keep my hands busy so the devil’s workshop remains closed.

This also serves to meet the warning of my mentor and guide through the aging process who said that every old guy needs a hobby in retirement; or else. Retirement is at hand, so I’m trying to find ways to keep mine busy doing something besides running the TV remote and writing stuff that will get me in trouble. I’ve also discovered that if I don’t keep my hands busy, sometimes My Amazing Missus will find ways for me to get them busy.

I don’t play golf. I would play tennis but I think I’m too good to play with the old geezers. I don’t like yardwork, or sawdust. I like flyfishing but I live in central Oklahoma. The only trout you’ll find around here are in the freezer at the grocery store. I play my drums, but how much of that can we all stand?

So, I’m trying my hands at leatherwork. I did a bit of that back in the 60s and really enjoyed it. So why wouldn’t it work in my 60s.

Recently I made a leather case for a bottle of essential oil. It turned out well so I’ve made a few more.

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My latest project was a bit more challenging. I decide to make a bag for My Amazing Missus. When I started on the project I thought, if this goes well I might make a few more and see if I could sell them to help support my hobby. The bag is done. Based on the work/time/materials, I think I’ll price them at $14,329.00 (including shipping). In other words: I don’t plan to make another one.

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I don’t know what I’ll do with all the stuff I’m making but at least my hands are busy; some of the time.

Coaster set and holder

Coaster set and holder


Randall & Rawls

THIS IS A GUEST POST OF SORTS. These are the words of my friend Randall O’Brien. I often turn to Randall’s words when I’m trying to try to make sense of things. They are a wonderful lens to view the world through. Let me give you an example. At the end of this post is a link to an essay Randall wrote. Please click that link and read it. It’s not long. It’s true. It’s powerful. It’s timely. If it doesn’t touch your heart deeply, yours may be hardened to stone at this time.

Among several graduate degrees, Randall studied Human Nature and Personality at Yale University. Mostly though (in my opinion) he studies real life.

He knows a lot. Most importantly, he knows ABOUT being a POPS. Randall is a self-described “hands-on grandparent, hoping to help raise five good humans.”


After the emotions, comes thought:

A THEORY of JUSTICE
(A theory, a book by John Rawls)

Changes anyone???

1. Who was John Rawls?

  • A philosopher who taught at Oxford, Cornell, M.I.T. and Harvard.

  • Famous for his Theory of Justice, and his book by that title, which sold 200,000 copies, and spawned 5,000 articles, papers, and other books (and counting).

2. What is Rawls’s Theory of Justice?

  • Concerns SOCIAL JUSTICE.

  • Rawls, essentially sees “Justice as fairness.”
    He establishes justice, or fairness, through a hypothetical “Veil of Ignorance.”
    Meaning? Meaning we imagine agreeing to the rules of society—fairness and justice—without knowing our place in society, our class, social status, assets, intelligence, etc, to which we might add race, gender, sexual orientation, abilities, or any other imaginable demographic.

In other words, what rules for a fair society would we write beforehand if none of us knew who we’d be in this world? This “Veil of Ignorance” should lead to fair rules, and laws to enforce them.

3. So.
Question: If we were to seek to form a more just society using Rawls’s theory, what changes would we make.

4. Let us remember: Justice is a coin with which we purchase peace.

5. With a tip of our hat to JFK, shall we acknowledge: “Those who make peaceful change impossible, make violent change inevitable.”

Hope.

By Randall O’Brien


Thank you Randall—for friendship, for shining the light on things I would have not seen otherwise.

CLICK HERE TO READ RANDALL’S ESSAY: A Bronze Star for Brenda

FOR TODAY

TODAY IT SEEMS ESPECIALLY CRUEL. I’m not much of a socializer. It’s not that I’m shy or too sophisticated for small talk, or uninterested in the lives of others—well maybe a little. Let’s just say that when it comes to the social distancing part of quarantine, I’m okay. Except! When it comes to our kids and GrandKids; and Mom, especially today.

On May 12, we sang Happy Birthday to Malachi on a Zoom call. It broke my heart. I’m grateful for Zoom and FaceTime and for kids who are doing what they can to help us stay in “touch” with the GKs. But this is hard. Sunday, was Karlee’s piano recital. I’ve never missed one; until now. Oh, we watched on YouTube and it was wonderful, but different.

Today though it seems especially cruel. Today would have been Mom and Dad’s 74th wedding anniversary. This will be her first one without him. It will be her first one without anyone from her family being physically there with her. She is in assisted-living with strict lockdown. It is as it should be for now, but hard nonetheless.

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I’ve thought about how it might be different for her if Dad were still here. Their life was pretty well suited to a quarantine type existence. They started each morning the same. Dad would be up first, his coffee made, waiting for her to start their daily readings. His eyes failed him years ago so reading was impossible, but he had mom. They would start with their daily devotional book and move on to the daily newspaper, page A1 headlines first and then the sports page (a routine she follows to this day, although the sports page is not what it once was). They would have been fine as long as Gunsmoke, M*A*S*H, and Jeopardy were on. The turmoil of quarantine would have hit once the scheduled St. Louis Cardinals’ game didn’t begin.

For a lot of 90-somethings you could have played any old Cardinals game from the past. They wouldn’t have known that Ozzie retired years ago. But Dad did. Mom served as a sort of play-by-play announcer for him. She knew all the players. She probably wouldn’t pronounce their names correctly but she knew them. Dad could see enough that he could tell the Cardinals players apart. I don’t know if he recognized their silouette, their batter’s box routine, their pitching motion?

But the Cardinal’s aren’t playing for now. Mom has a wonderful team of care-givers where she lives. For now, for today that will be enough for her. She is resilient. She has her books, her eyesight and GrandKids who love her. As she says, quoting her own mother, “This too shall pass.”

But for today; it seems especially cruel.