APPEASEMENT

GO AHEAD; PATRONIZE ME. Recently I found a pair of bookshelves on sale. Reluctantly I purchased them. Resentfully I put the first set together myself. Regrettably the project derailed. Respectfully I called the store to say one of the boxes of bookshelf parts they sold me had clearly been opened before. Parts were damaged and some were missing.

Apologies were offered. Offers to ship me a new bag of nuts and bolts were made. With relative calmness and composure I explained to the young "associate" that when I was his age if we paid a premium for furniture from a reputable store we didn't have to put it together ourselves (unless it came from Denmark or Sweden). I also noted that delivery was made to his store and not to my home and was delayed a couple of weeks beyond the original ETA. Additionally I explained that I now live an hours drive and about $57 in gas from his store. Pretty sure I could hear his eyes roll.

More apologies. How about this I offered, "You have a set of these bookshelves on your showroom floor. How about I pick up one of those and you can wait another month or so for a new bag of parts? I'll drive over to your store and pick up the shelves and you find out if you can give me a couple of nice pillows that match our sofa and that I can scream into?" This exceeded his pay grade.

My Amazing-Missus used to work for an affiliate of this store. I think it was started by a guy named Williams that lived in Sonoma. They sell really expensive measuring cups and spatulas. The also have a business that may have started as a pottery shop in a barn. Anyway, I know from her experience that this group of stores have what's called an "escalation desk", a place that handles twisted-off old men and cranky women.

I'm sure he didn't mean to be patronizing. And, I'm sure that when, in his customer service class, they taught about handling the lunatic fringe they didn't intend for them to actually use the word "appeasement"; nonetheless, he said to me, "I will talk to someone to see if we can find a way to offer you appeasement. "Why you condescending little..." I thought to myself. BUT WAIT;

Later that day, I got a call from the escalation desk with an offer of a gift card for $215. Color me appeased! Apparently there is a price at which I welcome condescension. I guess, as with bookshelves and stuff, MAN also needs on going assembly and tweaking—always a work in progress.

I will make sure that we use the token of appeasement to buy something that comes fully assembled.

yes, I added a bit of modesty type to Leonardo’s Vitruvian Man.

If you happen to be on I-40 roughly 44 miles east of West Elm, drop by and see our new bookshelves.