Do you know Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham? If you don’t, then it’s safe to say you didn’t watch Downton Abbey. I’m sorry. You need to know this about her, at least: if having a sharp tongue and just the right words required a license, she would have an “open-carry permit”.
Every single time she would deliver a wonderfully crafted zinger I would wish I could do that. Sometimes I would picture the person I would say the words to. In one episode she said, “Vulgarity is no substitute for wit.” I thought of Donald Trump. In another episode she said, “Does it ever get cold on the moral high ground?” I thought of Ted Cruz.
Then I thought, maybe it would be fun to list some of the best quotes from the Dowager Countess herself and match them up with the presidential candidate that it best fits. Turns out it was fun—you know in the spirit of laughing to keep from crying. Maybe you would like to give it a try. Here’s the list. Simply put the initials of the candidate that first comes to mind when you read that quote.
__________ “He looks as if he’s waiting for a beating from the headmaster.”
__________ “I wonder your halo doesn’t grow heavy, it must be like wearing a tiara round the clock.”
__________ “I am a woman. I can be as contrary as I choose.”
__________ “Principles are like prayers; noble, of course, but awkward at a party.”
__________ “At my age, one must ration one’s excitement.”
__________ “Does it ever get cold on the moral high ground?”
__________ “I don’t dislike him. I just don’t like him. Which is quite different.”
__________ Mrs. Crawley: “I take that as a compliment.”
Countess Violet: “I must have said it wrong.”
__________ Dr. Clarkson: “You want me to lie?”
Countess Violet: “Lie is so unmusical a word.”
__________ “There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”
__________ “Don’t be defeatist, dear, it’s very middle class.”
__________ “You are a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do.”
__________ “Sir Richard, life is a game, where the player must appear ridiculous.”
__________ “We don’t always get our just desserts.”
__________ “All life is a series of problems which we must try and solve.”
__________ Isobel: “How you hate to be wrong.” Countess Violet: “I wouldn’t know, I’m not familiar with the sensation.”
__________ “It always happens when you give these little people power, it goes to their heads like strong drink.”
__________ “I cannot find the words to say how I feel.”
That last one--“I cannot find the words to say how I feel", That's the one that keeps running through my mind every time the topic of the race for the POTUS comes up.