The Journey

THIS IS AN ESSAY ABOUT JOURNEY. Let’s start here.

“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” — Albert Einstein

Kyle & Brooke Fuller. Photo and image by Molly Hennesy.

Let me tell you of a journey of two months and 6,000 miles; on a Vespa 150cc Scooter. A few years ago, I bought a Vespa. I called the moment a “mid-life crisis”. My Amazing-Missus said, “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re way past mid-life.” Nonetheless it was a courageous and/or stupid decision.

The long, 6,000 mile Vespa journey I’m talking about here was taken not by me, but by a young lady named Shreve Stockton. I came across her blog, Vespa Vagabond, about her adventure when researching my own Vespa decision, and I’ve been reading her blog ever since. 

In a recent post, she was talking about our desire for safety and security and remembering her Vespa ride:

“The illusion of safety” is a concept my aunt and I came up with right before my cross-country Vespa ride. I did not have room to bring a tent. And I didn’t want to bring mace because I didn’t know how the pressurized canister would handle the extreme heat and elevation changes of my ride (I didn’t want it to explode on me). And my aunt and I came to realize that “tent” and “mace” do not guarantee safety, or even do much to mitigate potential harm the way my helmet and leathers did. And even my helmet and leathers didn’t guarantee my safety. We want guarantees so badly and we just don’t get them. Perhaps a better term is “the illusion of control.” The ancient Greeks called it the “caprice of the Gods,” and built their entire mythology around it. I have an IRA and I wear my seat belt and I recommend both, but they don’t guarantee anything.

I like to think of our little Airstream venture as a Journey; a journey made up of small, individual journeys, adventures, and stories. Although we’ve had the trailer only a few weeks now, the Journey started years ago with the idea, the looking, the cost-counting, the dreaming of it all. Along the way, people have asked lot’s of questions. Here are some of the most frequent: Can we have a look inside? How do you sleep in that tiny bed? How do you shower in that tiny shower? How do you keep the toliet paper from getting wet? (This Bambi model has a “wet-bath” meaning the shower and the toliet are in one little space.) It’s a legitimate question.

Here are the answers: Yes, you may. Very well actually. It’s not too bad really. There’s a curtain that pulls across and blocks the water.

Another question I’m asked frequently, which really surprised me: “You do have a gun in that trailer with you, don’t you?” Here’s the answer: No. I’m assuming these people have answered Einstein’s dilema with “I believe we live in a hostile environment.”

I’m actually more frightened that lightening might strike. Is a little aluminum bubble where you really want to be in a lightening storm? I also worry that the big motorhome with all the slideouts up the hill will come unmoored in the night, bump our little Bambi and send her careening off a cliff with us inside. Obviously my nightmares are far more creative than some bad guy trying to break in and steal our peanut butter and jelly then shoot us.

“Oh, you should carry a gun!” they say. And I say, do you realize we have FIVE little Grand-Girls that play in this Bambi. If one of them were to find that gun… I can’t even verbalize the rest of that story.

Put me in the naive, “the universe is still friendly enough to survive” camp.

Maybe to Shreve’s point, a better question for Einstein to have pondered is: can we live with the “illusion of safety” to the point that we’re willing to risk all to go on the journey?

If you are married, remember your wedding day? The sweaty palms, the butterflies, the pounding heart. Remember the birth of your first child? Every news headline makes you wonder if you really should be bringing a child into this mess. Will they be okay?

If we truly could count the cost… Maybe we wouldn’t go. Fortunately, God somehow whispers to us through the beautiful stories of those who have gone on the journey before us, He gives us this inexplicable love that invites us to go on this journey for life. AND WE DO IT! Some of us take a metaphorical gun (just in case), some of us carry on in ignorant bliss. We learn that there will be pain, there will be scary times, there are no guarantees. And sometimes our toilet paper will get wet. But we go.

Last Friday night, our youngest, Kyle, and his beautiful bride, Brooke, said to the world: Our journey starts here, NOW. We have chosen to believe that the universe is friendly enough and together we move bravely forward. I am betting that these two will show others that the journey is worth it.

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, remembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always -
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of a thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
—T.S. Eliot
(from ‘Four Quartets’)

Shared Name

THANKFULLY I HAVE A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. Initially the first sentence of this post was going to be, “Thankfully I have a daughter-in-law who reads this blog,” but when I typed those first seven words I had to put a period, or as the Brits call it, “A full stop.” First and foremost I am so thankful for our beautiful daughter-in-law; period. I am also thankful (in a less profound way) that she reads this blog because she read my recent post on ideas for Father’s Day gifts and bought me something leather—this wonderful leather journal cover. Perfect.

Her husband, our son, then screenprinted the cover of a few Moleskin journals for me to use in my new leather cover. Perfect.

He chose to put on the cover a quote, a line from a song by the Avett Brothers called “Murder In The City”. It is a haunting song both in melody and lyric. I had not heard the Avett Brothers play the song before but it sounded vaguely familiar. Then I realized one of my all-time favortie artists, Brandi Carlile, recorded the song on her album, The Firewatcher’s Daughter.

Always remember there was nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name.

In a few days now, vows will be exchanged, born out of shared love. Names will be shared, and I will be humbly thankful to have a second, beautiful daughter-in-law.

Thank you Kara & Corey, Brooke & Kyle.

Girls & Boys

DON'T YOU DARE call me a “misogynist”, or even “male chauvinist” or a “sexist”. I’ve gone on record here and other places with my sadness and disgust for the distorted view of the role of women held by the most conservative of the church of my youth. I'm a firm believer in Girl Power.

Just try to tell me these girls can't be anything they want to be

But is it really too crass to say that boys will be boys sometimes, and maybe even need to be? And why does it have to be that if, when boys are boys, it necessarily follows that girls are less than human? It’s not a zero-sum game is it?

I’m 65. Right or wrong, sometimes I will say what’s on my mind. It’s one of the few perks of old age. Cut me some slack.

So I’m going to say this: guys need to be virile (or feel like we are) and a little primal, occasionally. Humor us.

This brings us obviously to the topic of gift ideas for Father’s Day.

Affirm his dudeness. Get him something to gnaw on like some gourmet jerky, or take him out for a plate of ribs and a refreshing beverage. Speaking of cows and pigs, something leather is always a good choice. My favorite place is Saddleback Leather. The quality is outstanding, oh, and the smell of the leather when dad opens his gift… Their stuff isn’t cheap in any sense of the word, but you don’t have to break the bank to buy him something great. I use everyday and highly recommend the ID Wallet.

If you’re unsure of what to get him, let me offer this advice: don’t pretend you’re going to find something for him at Bed, Bath & Beyond, or Kohl’s, or Hobby Lobby, or Target.

If you’re within a day’s drive of Oklahoma City, there is a store where you can’t go wrong. It’s called Weldon Jack. It is the amazing concept of my good friend and the proprietor Jerrod Smith. This little shop is part motorcycle store, part “candy store” for guys where you’ll find leathergoods, knives, hatchets, hats, helmets, and amazing grooming products for guys. And as if this wasn’t enough, there’s a barber shop where you can even get a straight razor shave.

Jerrod named his shop after his grandfather, Jack Weldon Smith

Father’s Day shopping can’t be any easier than a trip to Weldon Jack at 36th and Western Ave. Or better yet, get Dad a gift card for there and let him go hang out with the boys and get a haircut and a shave. Then take him up 36th street a few blocks and feed him at Iron Star BBQ.

While we’re on the subject of food, here’s another gift idea for you. Even the stereotypical Dad likes to think of himself as Master of the Grill. Go with some grilling accessories or maybe even a few big steaks to throw on his grill. If he’s all set when it comes to goods for the grill, check out another option for outdoor cooking—cast iron dutch oven cooking. This is something I’m trying out right now. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. It’s bound to be good—there’s fire and knives and meat and potatoes involved.

Here's just a taste of what you'll find at Weldon Jack.

Home Sweet Home

MAKING A HOUSE A HOME; even if it's a tiny one on wheels. Our little trailer came from the factory with a lovely bedspread and “accent” pillows. We hadn’t even more gotten her home when she was stripped of those generic, factory goodies and replaced with just the right touches by the Amazing-Missus.

“We shape our dwellings, and afterwards our dwellings shape us.”

— Winston Churchill

On one of our first adventures we were staying at site #51 in Red Rock Canyon State Park, Hinton, Oklahoma. Returning from a walk I noticed the paper tag on her backside. I thought to myself, “I wonder what license plate number the great state of Oklahoma will give us in exchange for a hefty tax bill?”

Wait a minute! Why settle for some state issued identity? Our little tin hut deserves her own personalized name tag. I mentioned the idea of a personalized tag to someone and they said, “Oh, you mean a vanity tag.” This has nothing to do with vanity. This is about… Well, I don’t know what it’s about, but it’s going to happen anyway.

So we secured the application from the tax commission. You’re supposed to choose six options, in priority order, I guess that's in case one or two or five are already taken or deemed unacceptable or inappropriate by some authority somewhere.

BTW: Remember when the quite contrary daughter of governor Mary had her RV parked in the backyard of the governor’s mansion? I wonder if she had a personalized/vanity tag for her trailer? If not, I would love to help her choose at least six names if she wants me to.

from thelostogle.com

You can read the fun version of the story here.

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Okay, I’m back on track now. We would love to have your help. We’ve come up with at least six possibilities for our tag. Want to tell us your favorite, or better yet, offer another possibility. Keep in mind you only have seven spaces to work with and you can’t use words that might be offensive.

Feel free to comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. Here are our choices so far: