Back To The Present

RECENTLY, I WAS HAVING A METAPHYSICAL DISCUSSION WITH MY 6-YEAR OLD GRAND-GIRL; you know, like you do.

The discussion was brought on by watching a Christmastime episode of Dora The Explorer. Dora has a monkey sidekick named Boots and a nemesis named Swiper. Swiper is a masked fox who, well, swipes stuff. You can help Dora prevent Swiper from swiping by holding up your hand in a “stop” motion and saying, “Swiper, no swiping.” You have to repeat this three times. Swiper then says, “Oh, man!” and walks away dejectedly.

In this Christmas episode, Swiper is swiping presents and ruining the Christmas party. Santa sweeps in in his sleigh to explain Swiper’s fall from grace and the price of redemption. Then in the theme of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”, Dora, Boots, and Swiper do some time-traveling to see Swipper in the past and in a bleak, lonely, heart-wrenching future. Their time-travel is accomplished by shaking their travel capes, given to them by a grumpy old troll who lives under a bridge (of course). We get to travel along on the adventure by shaking our imaginary travel capes, and singing the little song: “Shake, shake shake. Shake your travel cape.”

While we were “shaking our capes” Karlee asked me, “Pops, if you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future.” “I’m not sure.” I replied, honestly. “How about you?” I asked.

She thought so hard, you could almost see, hear, and smell her gears turning. “I’m good with the present.” she finally decided.

I explained to her that that is a very smart choice. In fact it was what Jesus told his followers they should do.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6:34. The Message.

More 6-year old gears turning. Then she smiled and said, “Cool”, and we continued watching to see if Dora could help her friend Swiper put his charater flaw on hold through the Christmas Season.

Spoiler alert: The episode ends happily. Swiper repents and the party goes on.

It’s been three weeks since my last post here at About Pops. It hasn’t been writer’s block, so much as it’s been too much thinking about the past and about the future. Some personal stuff, no one cares to hear about, is at the core of it all; I think. It must be in our human nature to do that. Why else would Jesus use some of his red letters to encourage us not to?

But, if you could shake your travel cape, which direction would you go: past or future or both? I think I would go back. Not so much because I would like to change things or because I didn’t enjoy it, but maybe because I enjoyed it so much. Without a doubt I would look some people up and tell them I am sorry that I was, so many times, a self-absorbed jerk. I think I would pay more attention, listen more carefully, use people less, but who knows.

Contemplating the future paralyzes me. If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I used to write occasionally about my dream to own an Airstream Travel Trailer. While an Airstream is no travel cape, there is a mystique about them and the travel I imagine that has a grip on me. 

People who know me tend to make fun of the way I’ve obssessed over the idea of owning one, but can never take the big step. The uncertainty of the future scares me into inaction. Not just with buying an Airstream but a lot of things.

Let’s take the Airstream for example. I watch the classified ads for Airstreams religiously. At least once a month you’ll see an ad that basically says, “We used the trailer once but now major health issues prevent us from using it.”

Is there some correlation between buying an RV and having a catastrophic malady? Or, worse yet, what if I buy the thing and then “buy the farm”? Now my Amazing-Missus is stuck not only with my ukulelee and my Vespa, but with an Airstream as well.

[Shake the cape] Conclusion: if they were handing out tickets to the wormhole, I think I would pass, because in the wise words of a 6-year old, “I’m good with the present.” (For now.)

Easy As ABC? Sometimes.

You went to school to learn girl
Things you never, never knew before
Like "I" before "E" except after "C"
And why 2 plus 2 makes 4
Now, now, now
I'm gonna teach you
Teach you, teach you
All about love girl
All about love
Sit yourself down, take a seat
All you gotta do is repeat after me

That’s right. Today’s blog post is a lesson from Old Pops, The Love Professor. For those that know their Jackson 5 lore you’ll recognize that the lyrics above are from their song “ABC”. The song continues:

Reading, writing, arithmatic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But without the roots of love everyday girl
Your education ain't complete
Tea-Tea-Teacher's gonna show you
(She's gonna show you)
How to get an "A" (na-na-na-naaaaaa)
How to spell "me", "you", add the two
Listen to me, baby
That's all you got to do

A B C
It's easy as, 1 2 3
As simple as, do re mi
A B C, 1 2 3
Baby, you and me girl

This cute little number debuted in 1970 on American Bandstand. I was a freshman in college and had no intention of taking advice on Love from an 11 year-old kid. Looking back on Michael’s answer to Love, I still don’t like his solution.

Valentine’s Day looms. Last February, I did a series of posts with unsolicited advice for guys on how to make the most of the opportunity. This year, I already The Gift taken care of, so I’m just waxing philosophical about Love.

Several years ago I read an essay on “systems”. I wish I had made a copy of it or could remember who wrote it so I could give credit, but I don’t. Basically the author’s point was that we have reduced everything to a system.

In our own bodies we have systems: the nervous system, the circulatory system, the digestive system, etc. In society we have systems: legal systems, political systems, economic systems. Even our cars have systems: the fuel system, the braking system, the electrical system, and so on.

Here’s the thing about systems, when they work they’re wonderful. I’m using a system of ones and zeros, computers, wireless signals, servers, etc. to write and share this blog with the masses. It’s mind boggling to think that anyone around the world could read this if they are in the System.

Another thing about systems, sometimes they break… We have things like the postal system and the healthcare system. The thing about systems is when they do break, we can just blame the system and no one gets hurt. “Who is to blame for these problems?!” “No one really, the system failied.” Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes we create systems so we’ll have something to blame and no one is really accountable?

I’ll be conducting another wedding this Spring. Very soon now I will meet with the beautiful young couple for some “pre-marital counseling.” I hope they are not reading this because I’m going to confess that I don’t have all the answers to Love.

I am pretty sure though that I know a lot more about it than Michael Jackson did at eleven (God rest his soul). I do know that it cannot be reduced to system or a formula like ABCs and 123s.

Several years ago our marriage survived a conference we attended on how to have a successful marriage. I say “survived” because looking back, it was a system some guy had put together. He discovered he could take his show on the road and people would pay money to get the “keys” to marital bliss. And, also a coupon  for the advanced seminar where you got even more secret stuff.

Maybe I shouldn’t be too quick to judge, because actually me and My Amazing-Missus were marriage school dropouts. We ditched the last few sessions and did some Christmas shopping for our boys.

It may sound like I’m taking our 42 years of marriage for granted. I’m not, really I’m not. Nor am I saying I haven’t learned anything. I think I will tell this young couple that there are no magic formulas; there’s not a system. Sometimes it as easy as A-B-C or 1-2-3, sometimes its as complicated as H-E-L-L. Just ask my wife. I will tell them that Love is just the opposite of systematic. It is organic, it is natural, it is beautiful and it is eteneral.

Valentine's Day will be the 43rd anniversary of the day I proposed to My Amazing-Missus. I would do it again in a heart beat. I can only hope she would say, YES! But I would settle for a, “What the heck.” 

Testing 1, 2, 3.

I'M NOT AN ELECTRICIAN OR AN ENGINEER. Luckily, you don’t have to show some kind of license or certificate when you go to Home Depot® to buy a pair of wire strippers or vice grips, because like most guys, I don’t let knowledge, or the lack of it, get in the way of taking things apart and trying to put them together again.

As a kid, I remember the intrigue of attaching wires together to see what would happen. One such memory is burned into my cerebral circuitry. It was probably second grade and time for the school science fair. My parents were very busy. They were bakers at the time, making pies for the early morning deliveries. I took it upon myself to create a blue-ribbon science fair entry.

We definitely could have hung out together.

I found an extension cord, cut off the feminine end, stripped the wires back and taped them to the legs of a little metal folding chair. I strapped my little brother in and was just about to plug in my certain-to-be-award-winning entry, when my mom noticed, screamed, and the rest is a blur. Despite other, later experiments on my brother, he’s still here today.

One of my favorite and successful, projects started with finding an old record player in a pile of junk someone had dumped onto the Arkansas riverbed near our house. Its tubes were missing, but I used the turntable parts, wired around the internal amp to another working amp and voila!

So, four paragraphs in now, let me say, this is a post about connections. I had an english teacher once who critized my writing because, “it takes you too long to get to the point.” Well, I have a blog now, so… there.

For several posts now, I’ve been talking about having a "knot"—a group of people to hang out with, talk with; connect with. I realize my metaphor is a bit flawed now, in an age where everything is becoming more wireless. But I really like the picture of relationships being like wired together. Even the picture that sometimes wires fray and sparks fly.

Tonight I’m meeting with a little knot of people I treasure. We meet almost every Friday night. They are the first two people I’m interviewing as a part of the series I promised in my last blog post. I’m hoping to wrap up the interview tonight so I can write about it over the weekend.

Until then, may your connections be strong and your tubes burn brightly.

Finding the Knot

So...

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Bert and Ernie
The Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Team
The Tribe

To review: a couple of posts back, in a little essay titled, Keeping Company I mentioned a group called The Inklings. It's the kind of group that C.S. Lewis described as "a little knot of friends who turn their backs to the World."

As I said, I would like to have a group like that—a Knot, if you will. To explore the idea further, I started with identifying "six" people I would like to invite to a dinner. These people wouldn't actually be in the Knot, but in going through the process of who to invite, maybe, I thought, I can discover something about myself and the kind of people I could potentially be in a group with.

If you take a look at my "six": David Letterman, Flannery O'Connor, Paul McCartney & John Lennon, Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, Yo Yo Ma, and Atticus Finch, some elements are evident: humor, music, creativity, gregariousness, a strong B.S. filter, and a certain, healthy irreverence.

Maybe it's a guy thing. I don't know for sure, I've never been a girl. But it seems like guys like to be a part of the something. Maslow called it "Belonging" needs. Back when I was a kid, guys had clubs and lodges they could join. I'm not sure what all went on, because by the time I was old enough to join in and find out, Gloria Steinem had burned her bra and all males were chauvinistic pigs. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for women, and probably would have said something like, “You go girl!” had I ever met Ms. Steinem; but I will admit, I would have liked to go to one of those lodges where guys wore funny-looking hats and had a secret handshake, and maybe smoked a cigar and acted like big shots and maybe had a bowling team.

Now, men seem to be relegated to impromptu little gatherings at places like McDonald’s or The IHOP where they can drink cheap coffee, and complain about the dang democrats. That's not the kind of Knot I'm looking to be a part of. I'm not even sure I would want to go bowling with those guys.

The fact is, the Knot is already forming in my mind. (Wow, out of context that sounds ugly and ominous.) What I mean is, I already know some of these people and we're actually loosely knotted now. They may not look at it that way, but I do. 

So here's my plan: over the next few months, I'm going to interview these people, these potential Members of the Knot, and introduce them here at About Pops (if they'll let me that is). So stay tuned.