SAVE THE DATE

The Continental Army was officially formed on June 14, 1775, so June 14, 2025, the Army will be 250 years. That's a milestone worth marking and reflecting on. And apparently, plans are churning to do just that. Word is there will be a parade--the Army's birthday parade--through the center of Washington D.C.

I wish I could remember where I read the details so I could give proper credit, but the notes I made are missing the source. According to the report the parade will include:

28 M1A1 Abrams tanks (at 70 tons each, the heaviest in service)
28 Stryker armored personnel carriers
more than 100 other vehicles
a World War II-era B-25 bomber
6,700 soldiers
50 helicopters
34 horses
two mules; and
a dog.

I love a parade! In fact, it may be the pomp of a parade that first motivated me to want to be a drummer. As a kid I remember standing along the curb looking up Boston Avenue in downtown Tulsa in anxious excitement for the first of the parade to come into sight. But, before seeing that first car carrying the the grand marshall, before you could smell the horses, before any of that you could hear the cadence of the distant drums.

I've been to and marched in many many parades: Christmas parades, Rooster Day parades, Independence day parades, and one presidential inagural parade in D.C. for the infamous Nixon, which, by the way, will be the same parade route as the Army/Trump Birthday parade.

Oh I know, his name won't be on the cake so to speak but I'm sure that since by coindence he shares a birthday with the Army, he will feel celebrated too.

It should be a fine parade. Estimates are the cost will be in the $25 million to $45 million range. "But it could be higher because the Army has promised to fix any city streets that the parade damages, plus the cost of cleanup and police are not yet part of the estimate." I wonder: has DOGE heard about this?

Speaking of memorable points along the Army timeline, remember when Elvis, "King of Rock n Roll", served from 1958-1960? Let's take a look. From Wikipedia: "Before entering the Army, Presley had caused national outrage with his rock and roll music. Many parents, religious leaders, and teachers' groups welcomed his draft into the military. Despite being offered the chance to enlist in Special Services to entertain the troops and live in priority housing, Presley was persuaded by his manager, Colonel Tom Parker, to serve as a regular soldier. This earned him the respect of many of his fellow soldiers and people back in the United States who previously viewed him in a negative light."

Speaking of birthdays: depending on your view of the state of Elvis's aliveness, on January 8, 2026, Elvis will be or would have been 90 years old! How cool would it be to have a parade to commemorate? I'm open to brainstorming what it might look like: lots of Cadillacs, maybe a flyover of an old plane dropping Elvis impersonators out over the parade route, floating under bright parachutes. Maybe everyone could wear blue suede shoes. Floats could include a "Heartbreak Hotel" and another with a jail cell and a choir of recent pardonees singing "Jailhouse Rock". And of course there will be one "Hound Dog".

Although I'm not an Elvis fan, I respect his significant musical legacy and contribution. I do, however, remember his birthday every year. Coincidentally, old Pops here too was born on a January 8th, several years after the birth of Elvis. I know it's not a unique idea, but maybe I could go along for the ride as sort of a birthday 2-fer.

Speaking of psuedo-kings: There's another series of events planned for June 14, 2025. I don't know who's doing the planning but they've come up with a thought-provoking idea.

Maybe Elvis and I don't need the conspicuous consumption of a parade afterall. Remember that one Elvis song? The one with the bridge that said:

People, don't you understand
A child needs a helping hand
Or he'll grow to be an angry young man someday
Take a look at you and me
Are we too blind to see
Do we simply turn our heads
And look the other way?

-- In The Ghetto

Or, here's an idea: maybe we delay gratification for a little more than a year to, oh, let's say, July 4, 2026, and go all out for a party celebrating our Nation's 250th Birthday! We could save the $25 plus million until then and make it the the greatest, most huge party in the history of the world. I realize that steals the sparkle for those who have a June 14 birthday, but maybe if we need add-ons we could do a quick shout out to a few others with July 4 birthdays like: Calvin Coolidge, president #30. He was a conservative, limited government kind of guy. And Bill Withers who wrote songs we love and need like "Lean On Me"; or Nathaniel Hawthorne, who wrote "The Scarlet Letter", a book about sin and shame and repentance and judgement and imposing our morality on others.

July 4th just makes sense. A good party needs fireworks and July 4th is the pinnacle. And, according to the Oklahoma Fireworks Act, codified in Title 68, Section 1621-1635 of the Oklahoma Statutes the law that establishes the legal framework for the sale, possession, and use of fireworks across the state. Consumer fireworks can only be sold and used from June 15 to July 6 and from December 15 to January 2. So, to light a fuse on June 14th for a joint Army/Trump birthday bash would be illegal here in the Sooner state.

July 4th also would be perfect because Hobby Lobby already has all the trappings of a good celebration lining the shelves. Where in the H. E. Double Hockey Sticks are you going to find plates, napkins, banners, gnomes, flags, swizzle sticks, tablecloths, lights, hats, visors, flip-flops and a CD of saxophonist Kenny G playing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "Onward Christian Soldiers" for a June 14 extravaganza?!

Oh well, enough of all that. It's not my call to make. It's his party--he can strut if he wants to--strut if he wants to; you would strut too if it happened to you; ta da dat dat dat.