Dinner and A Movie

This is the last post in the series on how NOT to massacre St. Valentine's Day.

No doubt, any restaurant that's date-worthy will be crowded Friday night. If you do it right, you could stay in and not seem like a cheapskate. Remember the TV program "Dinner & A Movie"? It's a concept that could earn you two thumbs up.

First, carefully choose the right movie. You probably can't go wrong with something like "Sleepless in Seattle." A logical menu choice would be salmon--you know because of the famous Pike Place fish market in Seattle. If you're not a cook, have some fun with it and fix fish sticks with mac 'n' cheese.

Go classic and rent "Roman Holiday". Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck can hold their on with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. The menu is easy here--anything Italian--spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna or even pizza. Here's a fun tip: buy one of the ready to go pizza crusts. With scissors, cut it in to a heart shape. Add her favorite ingredients and bake up a winner.

Another good choice with Audrey Hepburn is "Breakfast at Tiffany's".  Mix up a pancake mix with fresh blueberries and top it with good maple syrup for the menu.

Want more movie options? Here's one opinion of the "50 Best Romantic Movies of all Time."

Want to go big with the dinner? Here's a romantic menu planner from Epicurious.com.

A little advice: be careful about offering a running commentary during the movie. No matter how tempting it is. For example, in "Sleepless in Seattle", when the kid leaves his backpack at the top of the Empire State Building and they have to return to get it and Meg Ryan is standing there holding the kid's teddy bear, don't say something like, "You've got to be kidding. Stevie Wonder could have seen that coming."

Well you're on your own now. Good Luck.

Pops Flicks Picks Part 2

“Punch the keys, for God's sake!”

That's one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite movies. Here's another from the same movie:

"Be sure to write."

I don't know that it is fair to call it a trend or not, but a few years back, there was an emphasis of sorts among evangelicals to call men to a manly-man spiritual worldview. One of the key tenets was that every guy needs an "accountability" partner or small group.

Having a small group of guys to hang out is a good thing, which probably goes back to cave-man days, although I'm not certain of that, I'm not quite that old. My diploma says I have a "BS in Sociology" so I should know the history and dynamics of male-herdness, but I don't. It would seem though, that traditionally, small bands of males could normally be observed gathered around a card table, golf course, local watering hole or coffee shop. The agenda might include topics like: sports, politics, regularity, new (and old) jokes and the allusion of being Masters of Our Domain.

These new groups though were about accountability--checking in with one another to make sure that we were in fact the master of our domain, that we were being faithful in spiritual matters, etc. 

I will confess: the idea of accountability to another guy or group of guys was not and is not appealing to me personally. But for a lot of guys it worked and was important to them. I just couldn't get past the idea that I was somehow or another so lazy, dim-witted, unmotivated, undisciplined or whatever, that I needed yet someone else to tell me to floss, drink a lot of water, pray, go to the gym, etc.

The fact is that I am who I am, when I'm at my best, because there have been people who cared enough about me to push me, to challenge me, to inspire me, to set examples for me. That was true when I was six and it's true today at 60-something.

The beauty of this "people need people" reality is at the heart of the two protagonists of Finding Forrester, one of my Picks for great movies. One of the characters is William Forrester, played by Sean Connery. William is a pulitzer prize winning author who has become a recluse and hasn't written anything in years. In a weird crossing of paths, he meets Jamal, a high school age, afro-american kid who loves basketball and writing, but he keeps that passion to himself because it just doesn't fit his culture.

It is a wonderful story of two very disparate guys, who are united by a life in the Bronx and their value of writing. In their weird and wonderful relationship they make each other better human beings, or as my friend Mako Fujimura would say: they re-humanize one another.

William and Jamal from Finding Forrester

This is why Finding Forrester is an important film and on my lists of Pops Flicks Picks.

The two lines from the movie that I started this post with are metaphors and themes for the challenge each offers the other. When William tells Jamal to PUNCH the keys (of his old manual typewriter) he is calling forth an authority and boldness in Jamal.

The line from Jamal to William: "Don't forget to write," comes toward the end of the movie as the two are parting as fast friends. Jamal is not just saying, "write to me," he is saying William you ARE a writer, do what you do.

Thank you; to all of you, who have been so affirming to me, who have been relentless in holding me accountable, knowing how much I dislike that idea. Thank you for telling me, "DO WHAT YOU DO."

Now, if I may be so bold: DO THIS--Watch Finding Forrester. I am holding you accountable to do so.

Favorite Holiday Movies

I'm not trying to tell you what to watch or not watch. Tastes in movies vary widely and I will admit I'm way out of the main stream when it comes to popular movies. For example, I've never waited in line for a movie--not because I'm unwilling to, it's just that the movies I want to see don't draw large crowds. The movies I see are never in the bigger auditoriums up close to the front of the multi-plex. The movies on my must-see list are in the little theaters at the back. It's usually just me and a few other weird-os there.

My recent favorites include:

• Moonrise Kingdom
• The Tree of Life
• Anna Karenina
• Beyond Midnight
• About Time
• To Rome With Love

So why would I even attempt to make a holiday movie list? Notice I don't call it a "Best" list, but rather a "Favorites" list.

I've divided my favorites into three categories: 1. Classics. 2. Always Good for A Laugh. 3. Holiday Themed Rom-Coms. (Yes, I am secure enough in my manhood to admit I enjoy a good romantic comedy.)

So here's my list of favorites, actually ranked by how much I like them within the category:

1. Classics

• White Christmas
• Joyeaux Noel
• Miracle on 34th Street (the original)
• It's A Wonderful Life
• Holiday Inn

2. Always Good for A Laugh

• Christmas Vacation
• A Christmas Story
• Elf
• Home Alone
• The Muppet Christmas Carol

3. Holiday-time Romantic Comedy

• While You Were Sleeping
• The Family Man
• Bridget Jones' Diary
• Love Actually
• The Holiday

Not just because it would mess up my lists of fives, but I left one out that would have to be on a favorites list. The Polar Express is a favorite to watch but only with the Grand-Girls.

Let me add that if you haven't seen The Family Man you should. Maybe I'll post more about this film later because it deals with what for me is a theological reality--the concept of "the glimpse." I believe in glimpses and much of my faith is built on them.

Maybe you wondering now if you should be praying for me--absolutely!

In the meantime--do you have an opinion or list to share when it comes to holiday movie must-sees?

Pop's Flicks Picks #1

I'm not trying to come up with yet another definitive list of must-see movies--at least not one I'm trying to push on others. This is my list though, or at least the first of my list. I would love to hear your picks. That's what the comment box at the bottom of this post is for--that, and a place to add your opinions on the matter.

One word: plastics.

That is one of the great lines from my first movie pick: The Graduate. The line comes in the form of tons of advice people are giving Benjamin Bratton (Dustin Hoffman) upon his college graduation. Ben is stuck in that post-graduate malaise, waiting for what's next.

The exploration of one of life's passages in The Graduate is one of the reasons I think it's an important movie. It is known as one of the defining "coming of age" stories.

If you have read the "About" stuff here at AboutPOPS.com, you know I'm taking a look at aging as sort of a second-coming of age. It's marked by the same eminent life transitions as any coming of age, and is, at least for me, accompanied with an unsettling ennui.

For example, check out this conversation between Ben and his dad. Ben is home from college and floating on an air mattress in the family pool:

Mr. Braddock: Ben, what are you doing?

Benjamin: Well, I would say that I'm just drifting.

Here in the pool.

Mr. Braddock: Why?

Benjamin: Well, it's very comfortable just to drift here.

Mr. Braddock: Have you thought about graduate school?

Benjamin: No.

Mr. Braddock: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?

Benjamin: You got me.

Please don't start worrying about me being in some kind of confused identity funk. I probably am, but it's nothing to worry about.

Other reasons this is my number one pick are some of the same reasons why the film was nominated for seven Oscars, including Best Picture, Actor, and Actress, with Nichols winning Best Director. It became the top-grossing film of 1968. The stuff of this film resonated hard with me in 1968. Also this was, in my opinion, one of the first, best uses of pop music as a soundtrack score, written by Paul Simon and performed by Simon & Garfunkel.

The good news is, as we learn from the movie, life goes on--sometimes we get it all together.

For Ben, he falls in love with the daughter of Mrs. Robinson, the older woman with whom he's having an affair. He makes the decision to marry Elaine quickly and pursues that goal with all he's got, although some, including his parents and Elaine herself wonder about his sanity. I love the talk between he and his parents:

Dad: Wait a minute, you talked to Elaine this morning? (about getting married)

Ben: No, she doesn't know about it.

Dad: Uh, you mean she doesn't know you are coming up to Berkeley?

Ben: No, actually she doesn't know about us getting married yet.

Mom: Well when did you two talk this over?

Ben: We haven't.

Mom: You haven't?

Dad: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half baked.

Ben: No, it's not. It's completely baked.

To those who may see my dream of selling everything and moving in to an Airstream travel trailer as being half-baked, let me say, it is but it is still in the oven.

One review of The Graduate said: "Together with Bonnie and Clyde, it stands as one of the most influential films of the late '60s, as its mordant dissection of the generation gap helped lead the way to the youth-oriented Hollywood artistic "renaissance" of the early '70s. ~ Lucia Bozzola

So, Pops's Flicks Picks #1 is The Graduate. Why? Because it's important to me.

How about you?

Katherine Ross as Elaine Robinson & Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Bratton