50
/50: IT’S NOT WHAT IT ONCE WAS..
That was our argument when we discovered our kids wanted to throw us a 50th wedding anniversary shindig. Speaking for myself, the real reason for my resistance to a golden celebration is that it's hard to imagine that we're old enough to be married that long. Don't misunderstand, I am grateful for My Amazing-Missus daily and for our 50 years of matrimony.
Growing up in church I can remember many occasions when we would go back to the church fellowship hall on a Sunday afternoon for a 50th Anniversary party for a lovely couple celebrated with pastel mints, assorted nuts, cake and punch. I remember thinking, "I hope they both make it to 51." When you're young, old people seem older than they seem to themselves.
In that spirit of denial, I like to view 50 as the new 40 or at least 49.
It seems like only yesterday I drove my VW Bus onto the beautiful farm where she lived to pick her up for our first date. Surprisingly, her father didn't run me off with a shotgun. As one who pokes fun at the absurdity of the idea of predestination, it seems a little hypocritical to say that it was a match made in heaven, but I can't explain it any other way. 50 years later, I still can't.
Now if you ask her she might concur that it was a match made somewhere; but... There are those days. Some days we've been Romeo and Juliet, some: Homer and Marge. Maybe once or twice we've had the misguided daring of Bonnie and Clyde without the crime and violence. We've certainly dreamed of the idyllic home life of mom, dad, and two boys of Ward and June Cleaver.
I guess our story is our own. And it's fifty years and counting. As I said at the outset, 50 doesn't seem like a big deal these days--my mom and dad celebrated 73. But, in a way 50 is a big deal these days when marriage seems to be like a contrivance of convenience more than a "for as long as we both shall live" kind of commitment.
Are there "keys"? I don't know. I do believe there is a certain amount of luck, a large dose of magic, a larger measure of miracle and an eternal source of love.
Our courtship was literally a whirlwind. Our first date was on New Years Eve. A few weeks later on Valentines Day I asked her to marry me. A few months later on June 16, 1972, we were wed. I'm sure there were those that suspected there might be an additional motivation for the rapid run to the alter. Why else would a lovely girl like Arlene Cox marry a poor college student/drummer-in-a-rock-band/long-haired/VW Bus driving pseudo hippie? Maybe it was the fact that he came from a good family or maybe it was his sense of humor. Yeah, that's probably it. Let's build a marriage on that foundation.
Our first child was born eight years, YEARS, after we married. I wanted to remove all suspicion from the old busy bodies in the church. If someone were to ask me the key for our 50 year marriage, I would say maybe it had to do with those early years: we became best friends. To this day she is my best friend. There is no one I would rather hang out with, be happy with, hurt with, and hope with.
So, if our kids want to celebrate that with us and some of the people who have been a part of our story, then LET'S PARTY! Here's the invitation that our oldest put together [without a doubt the coolest 50th Wedding Anniversary invitation I've ever seen]. Our kids have done all the planning: I don't even know if we'll have pastel mints and assorted nuts. I do know this: DRESS IS CASUAL and you're invited.
